Thursday, November 29, 2007

29 or 60 : 4!

Kaf Tet of November, 1947.

The newly formed United Nations makes an historic vote. Perhaps the most validation these people ever got! Not unanimous mind you, but a statement none the less. An empathetic one at that!

Ever since we are the stubbed toe of international moral opinion.

Israel, the age old concept of a light unto the nations, injures again and again. Hey, light is only as good as the crap that it shines upon! Tuff shit if the nations are losers, users, liars, thieves! Oy Vey!

REJ

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Guarding the Peace

Whatever is accomplished or not in Annapolis, we must pause to celebrate these rare moments where everyone is indeed coming together in the name of Peace, (which is one of Gd's names). The police and military are dilligent in their vigil to spoil any plots or schemes to derail the grand openning when all will be smiles and handshakes. This is a blessed moment, even if only a moment. Amen
REJ

Monday, November 19, 2007

The problem with education is...

O deary me!

As I may have mentioned, I am a student again. I love it! Apparently I worked up sturdy enough callouses on my ass from rabbinical school, to assure that I have the sitz-fleisch for another round of higher education.

In the course of this course, I am learning about all kinds of things, and at a rapid pace. Close to 20hrs a week, and then there's the traffic. Art history; geology; religions survey; communication methodology, so far. We also talked about the different boarders of the Land of Israel throughout different times in history. According to the Braita d'Tkhumei Erez Yisrael, it turns out that where I live is outside of the boundaries as defined almost 2000 years ago. Tha's right! From Acco all the way north to Tzidon

Now this may not seem like a big deal to you, but I assure you that it is! Firstly, I am a proud Zionist, who recently returned to this country largely for Zionist reasons. Now you want to tell me that I'm not even living in Israel? Next, what if I was a farmer? According to this, the laws of Shemitta do not fall on me! How could I fulfill this important mitzvah? Finally, and most importantly is that if we are indeed out of bounds then when we all arise from the dead, I will have to roll through the ground just like any diaspora Jew! Instead, I should be arising with all my fellow Israelis who are thought to be buried under the alter and hence just get up and walk to the court house for their final judgment!

After all that rabbinic education, you would have thought that I would have known that before I put a down payment on that house by the beach!

REJ

A day here, a day there...

On this 30th anniversary of the first visit of an Arab leader, we look to tomorrow with a dulled sense of optimism. Annapolis will set its ships to sail regardless of what their mission is. It feels like the last hurrah for the Bushies and his bandits!

Yet again there is courage here and there. Fu'ad, my new hero, is still toting his Barghouti deal around the standard channels. I said that he (Marwan) was being groomed for success the day he went to jail! What good is a leader around here if they haven't been stained by the blood of their enemies? Its a time honored tradition!

Another interesting turn of events, and we'll be welcoming Sa'adat all over again! Of course I speak of the Final Days, when Anwar and Menachem will rise from the dead to give testimony! )ooooooooHHHH) (that's supposed to be zombie ghouls). No no no...we can't have that. It'll freak us all out!

REJ

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Depending on a Miracle

Our sages tell us not to depend on divine intervention, but to expect it every once in a while! I just started a course of study towards certification as a tour guide, both for visitors to Israel and for Israelis to points abroad. I cannot begin to tell you what a hassle it was to sign up for this course! There's a runaround that is built into the system here that everyone plays into. Then when it all works out in the end, they gleefully smile and say: "you see? it all works out in the end. There was no need to get all bent out of shape thinking that it wasn't going to work out!" And that's the way it goes.

Now the word on the street is that Bin Laden has Pakistan's bomb. What me worry?

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

More good news

in.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idINIndia-30349720071106?pageNumber=1


Read between the lines folks. Hezbollah does not want war! And as for the military plan? Sounds like a scribble on a greasy napkin to me!

oh, did I mention that my middle name is Elia?

To add insult to injury, they named their poor child after me and my pal Shalom! Its all so tawdry that certain MKs are spilling the beans about the careful conspiracy of the SHBK to spoil everyone's day by sowing division amongst the remnants of the tribes. I couldn't think this stuff up!
REJ