One Hip Rabbi In The Galilee

Tony Blah to the rescue!

2008-02-11T13:00:00.000+02:00

'Arab view 'Arab view of deal close to Israel's' of deal close to Israel's'

Dimona Bombing

2008-02-04T11:53:00.000+02:00

Ok, ok so its a complicated one.

Now they are saying that its Fatah Gaza? Well Abu Mazen, get off your duff!

REJ

Where's the "W"?

2008-01-30T19:15:00.000+02:00

Dokh Vinno-Grahd is what its called here. And it comes with the forces of a thousand storms! Snow in the north, not by us we’re only 325 meters above sea level, and too close to the coast I suspect. Snow in Jerusalem as well, and the plows are on the ready lest the “Totsa’ot” of the sacred committee’s work. Whatever the ultimate conclusion, it is certainly a welcome quirk of a society of getting to the bottom of things. I mean, how many years will it be before anyone of the scoundrels responsible for the Iraq mess will be written up in a government inquiry into the war and its failures.

There are a few outstanding questions which will be answered by the report. More questions for certain. A big one seems to be the nature of the last 60 hours of the war when Israel took whopping casualties. We can hope for better knowledge about that, but is it really in the interest of national security that we launder all of it publicly? Follow this with the expensive chaos of an election, and it just seems that some things shouldn’t be for public consumption if the public doesn’t know how to take it. It is my belief that Israelis do know how to take it, even if they like making a mess along the way. I don’t think that this report will bring down Olmert, and God save us if it does!

Baruch Ha-Ba! So glad you could make it!

2008-01-10T10:20:00.000+02:00

Bush in Israel to Push for Peace

Well God bless him!

Its so nice to be remembered when your duck is so lame, they leave it off the menu at the Mukatta. That's right, no meat for the presidential lunch in Ramallah! Just as well, George tries to eat only organic anyway.

Now Olmert did well, and he has gloating rights if he can manage to just wipe the brown off his nose.
Abbas for his part did well, too! I mean he didn't get all bent out of shape when W crossed his legs at the photo op.

But seriously folks, the peace process is so wobbly already that we forget that even a weak cart, pulled by a lame duck carrying sycophants and impotents, will still wobble forward!

God bless us all!

REJ

I've got the money shot from my window!

2008-01-10T10:08:00.000+02:00

Rocket From Lebanon Hits Israel

When I look out my window, what do I see?

The hamlet of Shlomi, peace and harmony.

I heard nothing, so no worries here. No one even really talked about it. I still don't know where my Miklat is. I think that we're supposed to go downstairs to the neighbors house or something. Then there's the issue of me being a medic and all...

So who's responsible? Well, I think that the missile was fired by a couple of guys, male aged15-34, who got ahold of a leftover from last years war. Hezbollah? No way! Wedding party? More likely!

But why so close?

If they do begin to fall, I'll be sure to send photos!

REJ
http://www.mapa.co.il/general/searchresult_locked.asp?CurrMapTab=4&UserEarthX=167472&UserEarthY=1274999&UserMapZoom=4000&MapType=map&ImagesOption=&LoadUserPosition=1&PNGLayers=

How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?

2007-12-24T11:29:00.001+02:00

http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5igcPF2wKZ-cwj-HtU5DjuCT5UzHw

Jewish immigration to Israel at lowest in 20 years

JERUSALEM (AFP) — Jewish immigration to Israel continued to slide in 2007 with the number of newcomers at just 19,700, the lowest level in 20 years, according to figures published on Monda

Immigration was down six percent from 2006, the immigrant absorption ministry said.

The number of immigrants from former Soviet countries, which made up 30 percent of all newcomers, dropped 15 percent from 2006.

Zeev Bielsky, the head of the Jewish Agency in charge of bringing in immigrants to the Jewish state, expressed concern over the falling numbers.

Diaspora Jews today "have fewer reasons to leave their countries of origin" as Israel has become "less attractive as a land of immigration," he told army radio.

29 or 60 : 4!

2007-11-29T10:09:00.000+02:00

Kaf Tet of November, 1947.

The newly formed United Nations makes an historic vote. Perhaps the most validation these people ever got! Not unanimous mind you, but a statement none the less. An empathetic one at that!

Ever since we are the stubbed toe of international moral opinion.

Israel, the age old concept of a light unto the nations, injures again and again. Hey, light is only as good as the crap that it shines upon! Tuff shit if the nations are losers, users, liars, thieves! Oy Vey!

REJ

Guarding the Peace

2007-11-25T08:57:00.000+02:00

Whatever is accomplished or not in Annapolis, we must pause to celebrate these rare moments where everyone is indeed coming together in the name of Peace, (which is one of Gd's names). The police and military are dilligent in their vigil to spoil any plots or schemes to derail the grand openning when all will be smiles and handshakes. This is a blessed moment, even if only a moment. Amen
REJ

The problem with education is...

2007-11-19T12:48:00.000+02:00

O deary me!

As I may have mentioned, I am a student again. I love it! Apparently I worked up sturdy enough callouses on my ass from rabbinical school, to assure that I have the sitz-fleisch for another round of higher education.

In the course of this course, I am learning about all kinds of things, and at a rapid pace. Close to 20hrs a week, and then there's the traffic. Art history; geology; religions survey; communication methodology, so far. We also talked about the different boarders of the Land of Israel throughout different times in history. According to the Braita d'Tkhumei Erez Yisrael, it turns out that where I live is outside of the boundaries as defined almost 2000 years ago. Tha's right! From Acco all the way north to Tzidon

Now this may not seem like a big deal to you, but I assure you that it is! Firstly, I am a proud Zionist, who recently returned to this country largely for Zionist reasons. Now you want to tell me that I'm not even living in Israel? Next, what if I was a farmer? According to this, the laws of Shemitta do not fall on me! How could I fulfill this important mitzvah? Finally, and most importantly is that if we are indeed out of bounds then when we all arise from the dead, I will have to roll through the ground just like any diaspora Jew! Instead, I should be arising with all my fellow Israelis who are thought to be buried under the alter and hence just get up and walk to the court house for their final judgment!

After all that rabbinic education, you would have thought that I would have known that before I put a down payment on that house by the beach!

REJ

A day here, a day there...

2007-11-19T12:31:00.000+02:00

On this 30th anniversary of the first visit of an Arab leader, we look to tomorrow with a dulled sense of optimism. Annapolis will set its ships to sail regardless of what their mission is. It feels like the last hurrah for the Bushies and his bandits!

Yet again there is courage here and there. Fu'ad, my new hero, is still toting his Barghouti deal around the standard channels. I said that he (Marwan) was being groomed for success the day he went to jail! What good is a leader around here if they haven't been stained by the blood of their enemies? Its a time honored tradition!

Another interesting turn of events, and we'll be welcoming Sa'adat all over again! Of course I speak of the Final Days, when Anwar and Menachem will rise from the dead to give testimony! )ooooooooHHHH) (that's supposed to be zombie ghouls). No no no...we can't have that. It'll freak us all out!

REJ

Depending on a Miracle

2007-11-07T11:12:00.000+02:00

Our sages tell us not to depend on divine intervention, but to expect it every once in a while! I just started a course of study towards certification as a tour guide, both for visitors to Israel and for Israelis to points abroad. I cannot begin to tell you what a hassle it was to sign up for this course! There's a runaround that is built into the system here that everyone plays into. Then when it all works out in the end, they gleefully smile and say: "you see? it all works out in the end. There was no need to get all bent out of shape thinking that it wasn't going to work out!" And that's the way it goes.

Now the word on the street is that Bin Laden has Pakistan's bomb. What me worry?

More good news

2007-11-06T10:08:00.000+02:00

in.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idINIndia-30349720071106?pageNumber=1

Read between the lines folks. Hezbollah does not want war! And as for the military plan? Sounds like a scribble on a greasy napkin to me!

oh, did I mention that my middle name is Elia?

2007-11-06T09:36:00.000+02:00

To add insult to injury, they named their poor child after me and my pal Shalom! Its all so tawdry that certain MKs are spilling the beans about the careful conspiracy of the SHBK to spoil everyone's day by sowing division amongst the remnants of the tribes. I couldn't think this stuff up!
REJ

As I was saying...

2007-10-30T14:33:00.000+02:00

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/918502.html

where Brad Burston puts it all so well in perspective!

Idiot Amir's son

2007-10-29T22:31:00.000+02:00

Next week, on the 4th of November, a couple of things will occur. One will be the 12th anniversary of the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin z"l. Not enough can be said to describe the utter sadness of this occasion, for the other thing that will happen is that there's gonna be a bris! And I've got good mind to crash that party, and let it be known to the rest what I think of that child of vanity and arrogance.

Let me explain. When someone kills someone else, they technically deserve to die (lex talionis). Being the enlightened and western people that we are, we reserve capitol punishment for Nazi types like Adolph Eichman for instance. So when a murderer, particularly of this caliber, is encarcerated, he doesn't get to read fan mail, he should not be allowed to meet new people, he certainly should not be allowed to propogate and procreate and all the fun that comes with it! No! He is a walking, waking, sleeping, lonely, dead man waiting for the day of his death. I don't accept any argument that gives him any rights whatsoever! Certainly not to glibly smirk in his cell on the day of his child's birth!

REJ

An Introduction

2007-10-29T20:02:00.000+02:00

My name is REJ.

I live in the northwest Galilee, not far from the Lebanese border. It is truly one of the last corners of Israel, both literally and figuratively. Not only are we cozily tucked in the very top left corner of the country, the area is quite pristine for Israel.

Until recently, I was a congregational rabbi in a midsized synagogue in the western states region. I am being coy, because I might be compelled by the moment or any other compelling reason, to refer to my previous employers than less than every bit of perfect that they all are. I am going through some kind of detox from pulpit life for sure, but I digress.

What I hope to do here is share some thoughts on any range of topics, from Israeli politics and culture to an American deconstructionist diatribe; from highly spiritual to practically pagan!

Welcome and Enjoy!
REJ